No one looks down at their smiling baby girl and hopes that one day she will grow up and date a felon.
Unfortunately, according to the advocacy group The Sentencing Project, “The United States is the world’s leader in incarceration with 2.2 million people currently in the nation’s prisons or jails — a 500% increase over the past thirty years.” Five hundred percent more people are incarcerated now than around the time most of us were kids or just being born. Add in the fact that we live in the era of the prison industrial complex amd the startling and upsetting fact that according to the NAACP, “If current trends continue, one in three black males born today can expect to spend time in prison during his lifetime.”With these factors, if you count African American men as your dating pool then there are strong odds that your great man could be on the unfortunate side of these troubling statistics.
Remember, rule number one is always that you deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship. Is the crime indicative of who they are now or who they were? If it is the latter, I would probably advise you to run. Evolved adults take responsibility for their lives and their actions. Has this person worked on removing the belief system that made them commit the crime to begin with? In the case of the woman who sent me the advice letter, her partner was not open or honest.
I see you shining and in a hot, happy, healthy relationship. — Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams is the author of “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love,” nominated for an African American Literary Award in self-help.
She gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve.
So you meet someone interesting, start dating and then he confesses to you that he has a prison record. One plot-line has the women trying to figure out whether they should continue to date shady convicts and ex-cons.
A few years ago, one of my reality TV guilty pleasures was the VH1 show “Mob Wives.” The hot buttered mess of a show follows a group of Staten Island women whose fathers, husbands and boyfriends are all currently or formerly incarcerated.
You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to Ebony and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Abiola is also the creator of the African Goddess Affirmation Cards.